Way too many of these types of lists include things like, “when you’re single, no one is there to judge you when you eat a whole tub of Ben & Jerry’s,” and, “You may cry from loneliness, but at least you know you’re not being cheated on.” So for your reading pleasure, here’s a list of seven real perks of being single.
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1. Control of Your Time
I don’t know about you, but I love having control of my time. And while I don’t resent the time I spend living on someone else’s schedule, I still prefer managing my day as I see fit.
After spending time at work, it’s wonderful to be able to decide for yourself when you’ll do things. Even little things. I love deciding when I’ll go to the grocery store and when I’ll clean the bathroom. When you’re in a relationship, even these minor events have to be coordinated with someone else. And, again, while that’s not bad, being able to make your own decisions about how you’ll spend your valuable time is even better.
2. Friendships
Know how when one of your friends gets into a relationship, she suddenly has less time to spend with you? And about 50% the time she does spend with you is spent talking about her new partner? That’s all well and good, but the flip side of it is when you’re single, you have more time to devote to maintaining healthy, platonic friendships.
3. Sleeping in the Middle
Okay, this is one that sometimes shows up on the self-mocking lists I mentioned earlier. But I promise this is one of the true perks of being single. Even the most pro-coupling people must admit: Having your own bed allows you to sleep well. You’ll never worry (consciously or unconsciously) about waking someone up. The only alarm going off in the morning will be your own. No one will snore, talk, or kick in their sleep, waking you throughout the night. No matter how you slice it, nothing is as restful as having a bed of your own.
{Almost there – keep going!}
4. Designing Your Own Space
Yes you can do this with a partner, but it’s so much fun to do it on your own! You can do absolutely whatever you want with your space. No compromising on an ugly wall color, no sacrificing your hobby room for theirs, no shared office spaces with clashing styles. You can bring every home decor pin on your Pinterest board to life. No matter how small your space is, it’s all yours. Do with it what you will.
5. Solitude
You’ve heard it before: being alone is not the same as being lonely. Solitude give us the necessary space to learn to truly love ourselves. If being alone makes you uncomfortable, don’t run away from it. Take up meditation, learn to be present and at peace with yourself. Even if being around others is what makes you feel alive, learning to love your own company is the vital foundation that allows all your other relationships to thrive.
6. Money
Ah, ever the uncomfortable topic. As you likely already know, one of the number one topics couples argue about is money. People have very deep-rooted and passionate beliefs about money. Money is intimately connected to one’s ability to earn a living, and to one day retire. So it’s no surprise that when finances are merged, friction ensues.
When you’re flying solo, you are in complete control of your money. Not only does this mean you’re not fighting with someone else, it’s totally empowering! When you can’t rely on anyone else to make the tough choices, you’ll find yourself rising to the challenge.
7. More time to do whatever you love
One thing that solo women have is time. Amazingly, this is so often framed as a negative by TV shows, romcoms, and society in general. You’ve seen the image of the poor, single woman sitting in her home, all alone, nothing on TV, nothing new to read, and no lover to talk to. Such sorrow.
No matter how extroverted or introverted you are, having time to spend as you please is a luxury. Don’t wish it away! If you want to interact with people, go out and do it. You’re not some pioneer woman alone on the prairie, desperate for her husband – the only other human she knows – to come home so she can have someone to communicate with. So don’t treat yourself as though you are.
And if you’re on the introverted side, you’re in luck. You don’t need to sacrifice your solitude to a romantic partner. I know there’s a long list of stuff you’d love to do in your spare time, and that list should not include “mope around wishing I had a partner.”
{Just a bit more…}
You can add on to this list for another several pages, and here’s how: Just ask yourself, “What’s something that married people say they miss about being single?” Whatever answer you get, that’s what you should be thankful for right now. Whether it’s having their own room, jumping in the car for a weekend getaway, or painting the kitchen without argument – enjoy that while you’ve got it. You might not fly solo forever, so cherish this life while it’s here.
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