Being alone for the holidays is only a sad state of affairs when it’s something you don’t want. Learn how to enjoy your solitary Christmas.
Spending the Holidays Alone?
Being “alone” on Christmas means different things to different people. Maybe to you it means being single. Or maybe it means being separated from your family and loved ones. Whatever your solitary Christmas looks like, I guarantee it doesn’t need to be as bad as you’re fearing.
In this article, I’m going to take a look at the reasons our society pities the person who’s alone on Christmas, and why that pity isn’t always warranted. Then, I’ll look at the ways you can actually enjoy being alone on Christmas day.
The Dreaded Solitary Christmas
Every Christmas movie reinforces the idea, sometimes explicitly, that the worst fate imaginable is to be alone on Christmas. But how bad is it really?
In general, there’s nothing wrong with being alone. The problem is being alone when you don’t want to be. Remember Kevin McCalister’s initial glee at finding his family gone in Home Alone? He was forced to be around his family and wanted nothing more than to be alone. In most holiday films, it’s the opposite. The protagonist is forced to be alone and wants nothing more than to be with the ones they love.
The problem isn’t being alone. It’s not getting the type of Christmas you want. And there’s a simple (but not easy) solution: Want to be alone.
How to Want to Spend Christmas Alone
If you’ve stayed with me this far, you might be thinking, “Yeah, isn’t that like trying to convince yourself you want to be the crazy old cat lady?” I’d say no. Learning to enjoy a solitary Christmas isn’t quite the same as embracing a life of social abandonment.
While researching this article, I came across a blog by Kate Rhodes about her experiment with this very issue. Rhodes, who’s always enjoyed spending the holidays with her family, chose to see what spending Christmas alone was really like.
I recommend you click over and read it, but I’ll summarize. Despite being single, Rhodes realized she’d never really been alone. Between her job and her family, she was always surrounded by people. She writes:
Facing the challenge of a festive season alone would mean that I had become self-reliant, no longer dependent on friends or family to prop me up. The previous Christmas had been a nonstop whirl of drinks, parties and gifts. Now the chance had come to see if I could enjoy the silence of my own company.
Initially, the oppressive silence of her cabin overwhelms her. But she quickly finds a sense of rapture in the solitude and beauty all around her. Though she admits to battling homesickness and self-pity throughout the week, the experiment seemed to be successful. She ends the post by saying:
I left with the discovery I was more independent than I knew, and deciding time alone was something to relish. The experience made me realise carving out peace and quiet should be for life – not just for Christmas.
How would you fair? What if, this year, you were alone on Christmas day intentionally?
Start Planning Your Solitary Christmas
If you’re alone this Christmas, take it as a personal development challenge. As I mentioned in last year’s post about spending New Year’s Eve alone, this can become a meaningful–even spiritual–time for you. You might even miss your solitary Christmas during the cheery, people-filled Christmases of the future.
Consider setting time aside for yourself as you would for family members or a significant other. Really. Block out time in your schedule to do something that brings you joy. Personally, I’m looking forward to snuggling on the couch tonight and watching The San Francisco Ballet’s 2007 Nutcracker DVD. Truthfully, I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks. I love my quiet, solo Christmas Eve that much.
Reflect on the past year. If you’re religious, meditate on what this night means to you. Turn on the tree (or a streaming fireplace video) and let yourself feel content and happy on your solitary Christmas night.
Have you ever enjoyed spending Christmas alone? What was your favorite solitary Christmas? Let me know in the comments below.
