Single discrimination? Do single people really think they’re being discriminated against? What’s next? Has the world gone made with this PC nonsense?? It’s okay, everyone. Let’s take a (calm and rational) look at single discrimination in the workplace.
In this post you’ll learn:
- What single discrimination is
- Why it matters
- What you can do about it
What is single discrimination?
Single discrimination is a non-legal term referring to the way employers often expect single people to perform more work than their married counterparts. This seems to happen because employers assume single people have more free time, as we don’t have a ‘traditional’ home life.
In my free 30-day email course, I mention my encounter with my co-manager Janice. Janice genuinely and openly believed that single people liked working extra hours because they had “no reason to go home.” She also felt that she (a wife and mother) shouldn’t have to work as many hours because she had a family.
Janice isn’t alone. Unfortunately many employers hold similar views. Single people frequently report being told to work longer or less convenient hours than married workers. When non-married people are frequently treated less favorably than married people due to their marital status, we call it single discrimination.
But… don’t single people have extra time?
Employers seem to forget that single people usually still have families. And even though we don’t have spouses or children, we still have significant familial responsibilities. When it comes to caring for aging parents, the tradition still holds true: single people tend to become the primary caregivers to their parents. But employers still dump extra work on us, assuming that our families (and our free time) are less valuable.
What if you don’t have to take care of a family member?
Listen. Your free time is your free time. If your life choices have brought you to a point where your free time involves binge watching Netflix while binge drinking Coronas, that’s your business. You don’t need to convince your boss that you’re drowning in familial obligations to get your due time off.
But… shouldn’t single people be willing to help out married co-workers?
Look, I get the whole social responsibility thing. When I worked at a grocery store, I always volunteered to work the holidays so my married coworkers could have those days off. I rarely had to host family meals, so it seemed only fair to let those who did have the extra time to do so.
But when I did have to host a Christmas dinner for my family one year, I found out quickly that my boss and co-workers didn’t take my situation seriously. Even though I had to prepare everything myself (remember, no spouse to help out), they told me it was “sweet” that I was going to cook for my parents. They seemed to think I was going to put on my tutu and princess crown and bring my folks breakfast in bed, rather than host a full holiday meal for my extended family.
As they saw it, I didn’t have a ‘real’ family. I didn’t have kids. I didn’t have a husband and in-laws to cook for. While I may have volunteered to work for them for years, they weren’t willing to return the favor. They simply didn’t believe my family was as legitimate as theirs.
Is that really discrimination?
By definition, discrimination means treating someone unequally or unfairly due to a set of characteristics. So yes, requiring single employees to work longer, later, or at inconvenient times based on their marital status is discrimination. However, it’s not unlawful discrimination in the workplace. Marital status is not a protected group.
So what’s the solution to single discrimination?
First, recognize that your time is valuable, whether your boss thinks so or not. Your co workers have chosen (in most cases) to be married and have children, just as you’ve chosen to stay single. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice time doing what you wish so that they can spend more time doing what they wish.
Don’t get me wrong, you should still be considerate. If your co-worker needs to take her kid to their first day of kindergarten or take her husband in for surgery, accommodate her if you can. But if you need to help your mother move or take your cat to the vet (hey, no spouse can do it for you and you can’t let the poor thing suffer), take the time you need to do these things. And if your boss consistently expects you to cover because you ‘don’t have a family,’ feel free to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”
{Learn how to rock your career as a single woman}
Your time is no less valuable because you aren’t married. You are no less valuable because you aren’t married. You can be a nice person and a helpful co-worker without being a doormat.
Have you experienced single discrimination? How did it affect your career? Share your experiences in the comments below.
