Still single? Here’s how to create New Year’s resolutions that will transform your life in the best possible way.
What Do You Want Most in the New Year?
Full transparency: This blog is not about snagging yourself a partner in the New Year. It’s about setting up some New Year’s resolutions that will help you reach new heights no matter what your relationship status is.
I have to tell you that, because when you see the words “single women” and “New Year’s resolutions” in the same headline, you can usually assume the content is about:
- Not letting the old year’s failed relationship(s) get you down
- Making yourself more attractive emotionally and intellectually
- Teaching yourself not to care about stupid boys anyway
I’ve got something a bit different in mind.
The Best New Year’s Resolutions for Single Women Are…
In this post, I’m going to give you one piece of advice. Pick something–a goal, a dream, a hope–that you imagined accomplishing with another person. This could be something as serious as buying a house or as simple as taking a trip to the beach.
Got it? Now make it your New Year’s resolution to do it on your own.
Don’t wait. Don’t hold yourself back until you find the right person. Give yourself permission–right now–to do it on your own.
Drop Those Excuses Like the Bad Habits They Are
In my own experience, and in the experience of my friends, there are a few really common excuses we come up with for not pursuing these types of dreams alone. The top ones include:
It’s too big to do on my own.
Things like buying a house, starting a business, and moving across the country are pretty massive undertakings. Even going on vacation alone can seem like too much to plan by yourself. But there are two important things to remember:
- It’s not too much for you to handle on your own.
- You’re not on your own anyway.
You’ve got friends, family, online communities, and an internet full of resources. Don’t make some future partner your excuse for not living your best life right now.
I don’t have the money.
When I was 23, I decided I needed to start dating. At my age and income level, I knew I couldn’t have the home life I wanted alone. I wasn’t looking for a wealthy person to support me. I just wanted someone in my own tax bracket to pool resources with so we could share a better life.
Looking back on that now, I want to shake my former self. That is exactly the kind of thinking that gets people stuck in horrible relationships. I’d seen it all my life, and yet I nearly dove headfirst into it.
Being in a living-apart-together relationship has forced me to become more financially self-sufficient than I ever thought possible. Trust me when I say you can get what you want without hooking up with someone. If you don’t believe me, give it a try
{Psst! That was an Amazon affiliate link. You can read my affiliate disclosure here.}
I’ll be sad and pathetic if I do it alone.
I admit to making snap judgments about people. Even after years of running The American Spinster, I still fall into the cultural trap of equating solo success with sadness. All my life, I was brought up to believe all success was meaningless without ‘someone to share it with.’ So yeah, some people will certainly think that you are pathetic for vacationing alone.
But odds are they’re also people who either:
- Miss out on vacation because they don’t have someone to go with them
- Vacation with their family or spouse and argue 60% of the time
You have people in your life who will love to see Instagram posts of you having a blast at the beach. You have friends who will support you in all of your great, big endeavors.
This year can be your year if you just drop your excuses.
Put Forth the Effort. You’ve Got Nothing to Lose.
Remember that big goal? Think about it again. How would it feel to accomplish it? And how much of a confidence boost would it give you to know you did it solo?
Make this year the year you really see what you’re capable of.
What have you been waiting to do? Let me know in the comments, and tell me if you’re going to go for it this year.
